Only one time in my life have I ever been offended by a perfume – it was loud and it smelt like curry. Yes, I have wondered too, if it’s just curry, not perfume. But you know a perfume from a curry, so there’s that.
Not only was her perfume bad-smelling to the point of my wondering what was the point of her perfume, but it was also super loud. And we were in school. All the wrong things. Even when trying to be presentable, things happen, and you end up making bad decisions.
So here’s a comprehensive guide to perfume etiquette everyone should consider if they are perfume lovers.
But first, let’s clarify something about perfume etiquette.
Is It Rude to Wear Perfume?
Wearing perfume is not rude or offensive even in public because perfumes are made to be worn and although you can wear a perfume at home, the general idea of it is to wear it when you go out. However, perfume etiquette should be followed for a better experience for both parties.
What is Perfume Etiquette?
Perfume etiquette is the set of norms a perfume wearer should follow so that when they are in public, their perfumes are not invasive to the people who would have to spend time with them for a longer period.
This could mean a coworker or a client who will have to sit next to you the whole day, a friend who is accompanying you for a movie or any other gathering, or even a random person that you don’t know yet as you spray perfume on your body.
When it comes to perfume, you have many ways you can ground yourself to ensure that you’re not offending anyone.
There are unspoken rules for everything whether you follow them or not. While choosing a psychological thriller on your first movie date is not recommended(unless you both want to watch this), no rule says you can’t. The same goes for a gore movie choice for a child.
Similarly, we should all follow the unspoken rules of wearing perfumes to ensure a better wearing experience for ourselves and those around us. Sometimes people also have sensitivity to perfumes, which needs to be considered.
Perfume Etiquette at Work
When we say work, it can be anything from everyday 9-5 to long business hours. It can be anything from sitting in cubicles surrounded by coworkers to having your own office to teaching a class full of students. It can be from meeting clients every day to meeting patients to serving food in a restaurant. In any of these cases, go for a subtle everyday perfume, if allowed. But your safe bet is mass-market perfumes since these are designed to meet most people’s tastes.
If you work at a hospital, or as a doctor, it is better to skip perfumes at all. But there are always safe perfumes that you can opt for, or I would suggest a body mist. Not only their staying power is short, but they are also often subtle.
Many corporations are already banning perfumes in workplaces, so respecting them is your best stance. But if you suffer from bad body odour, there’s always antiperspirant and scented body cream that you can opt for. Because again, bad body odour is also a nuisance for people around you.
Perfume Etiquette at Home
You might be a perfume-lover or connoisseur, working from home. Or might want to wear perfume when going to bed. You also have to consider that you might have a partner or roommate.
Personally, what I like to do when I sample perfumes on my skin while at home is to spray it only on one side of my neck and one on my pulse points, and I don’t do it inside. I come out in the open for a bit, spray it, and wait for a few minutes before going back.
Perfume Etiquette for Age
One of the most important parts of discovering and wearing a scent is to consider the age-appropriate scent. I remember that I started exploring perfumes before I was 16. I was always excited whether it was a 2 ml vial of perfume oil or a fancy EDP bottle.
There are perfumes out there which become the ‘high school scent’, but if you are looking for an age-appropriate scent for those below 18, then anything that can be described as sensual or sexy shouldn’t be your choice. For teenage guys, wearing leathery, or with tobacco notes would be wrong choices too.
While wearing Guerlain’s Shamilar is not for your 20s, or Juicy Couture’s Viva la Juicy is not for your 60s usually, I don’t believe you should have a strict restriction on what fragrance to wear for your age after you turn 18. It is okay to have an advanced taste when you’re young or want to feel young when you’re old.
Etiquette Around Strong or Overpowering Perfumes
- Limit the Number of Sprays
When we talk about wearing perfume responsibly, it is also a matter of how much you spray apart from what you wear and where you wear it.
So, when you are wearing an overpowering perfume, I suggest spraying one spritz at the back of your neck for the scent trail, one each on both pulse points.
But don’t consider this a hard or fast rule. You should know how strong is your strong perfume.
Tip: Consider transferring your perfume liquid to a rollerball atomizer, as it helps dispense the liquid in a better-controlled manner.
- Layer Your Perfumes
Cloying perfumes can still be worn if you just know the art of layering perfumes. When I say art, it means that you cannot be taught layering. You’ll have to have your own experience with the perfumes you own and must have played with layering them before. So you know which perfume can tone down a strong fragrance, or which can add some more life to another.
For example, tobacco essence offers a dry note which can help balance overbearing floral sweetness.
- Wear During Hot Weather
Some perfumes are not just better worn during hot weather, but they also perform better during hot weather. One such example is Rasasi Hawas. It is considered to be in beast mode when worn on a hot summer day, but when worn indoors, it can be a headache-inducing perfume.
- Wear it if You Will Spend Outdoors:
Strong perfumes are not for wearing when you know you will be indoors the whole day. But if your job requires you to stay outdoors most of the day, a strong fresh fragrance is the best thing you can have on your collection.
Essential Perfume Etiquettes/Tips for Various Occasions
- Funerals: Skip it. A perfume is anything but a necessity. You don’t want to look back at yourself someday and think that before you attended a funeral, you spent a minute or two deciding what perfume would be suitable for such a gathering.
A perfume often makes the statement of expressing oneself, and since a funeral is not about you, there’s no need for you to spray a perfume.
- Interviews: Interviews are very tricky. Especially if you are interviewing for a very sought-after position, and your interviewer is in a bad mood. So when you are wearing a perfume that can bring attention to how you smell rather than how you perform in an interview, it probably is going to be a problem. Again, you can still wear a scented lotion or a soft perfume. Nothing you wear needs to make a statement during an interview unless you are going for a job in the fashion industry. But in any case, avoid strong fragrances.
- Health Checkups: Places like hospitals can have sick people. Not only you don’t want to be inconsiderate of those people but you also don’t want to associate perfume with health issues. I guess you can still wear a perfume that’s not too much, or just for smelling good. Again, a strong perfume is a complete no-no.
- Dating: Especially on first dates, it’s probably better to stick to mass-market perfumes unless you know the other person has a nose for unique scents or into scents just like you. If yes, I think you can become more experimental because you might have a chance to impress them.
Using Perfume on Clothes
- Don’t apply perfume on clothes if it has colour.
- If you want to apply perfume only on clothes, there are hanky spray perfumes for that, although I am not sure about the variety of these perfumes. Or you can carry a handkerchief if you want to carry something that smells good.
- Don’t apply perfume to your clothes if you have to wear the same on the next day. Because by the next day, the weather might change and you might not choose the same perfume.
How to Tell People Whose Perfumes Are Bad
The frustration is real. I hadn’t dared to tell a friend of mine in school when she was sitting next to me that her perfume was just bad. We only sat together for one day, the whole day. But even if we had to sit together all year, I’d probably never have told her. One of the reasons is that I didn’t know how, and it felt wrong(at that time) to tell someone about something they wear with their money(or parents)
So I have found a few ways to do this.
- Be Polite
This might be the sixth day that you are smelling that cloying or loud perfume, and you have other people who tell you that it annoys them too, but you must always be polite.
Because you might think that it’s affecting everyone and the frustration is real, but the person may have no idea at all. They might not even smell their perfume at all because of what we call noseblindness. So, if you come off as rude, or very passive-aggressive, they would not see where you are coming from.
So, even if it’s the seventh day, you may want to say something like, ‘Hey, I have been noticing that your perfume is a little bit loud/cloying/overwhelming. I’d appreciate it if you just toned down.’
- Choose Just One Person to Tell
If a group of you don’t like someone’s perfume, there’s no need to make it a group activity. Only one person will be enough to make the person understand that their perfume is problematic. Any responsible person who is educated about social etiquette will immediately consider this.
- Don’t Wait for Too Long
If someone has been wearing this perfume for a month now, you should talk to them already. Because when it becomes too late, they now already feel bad that their perfume has been a nuisance for a month and you haven’t been honest with them.
How to Ask People What Perfume They Are Wearing?
Asking someone what perfume they are wearing can be seen as rude. See, there are just too many etiquettes to follow. Sometimes, it can also be seen as flirty, especially if a stranger is asking someone.
So, while I am not an expert in this, I know a few tricks that might keep you from wrong assumptions.
- Just ask it: I don’t think there’s a different language for asking someone about what they are wearing other than a simple ‘I like your perfume, what is it you’re wearing?’.
But here’s the real deal: they will reply to your question. But it is not necessarily that you learn the whole thing the first time. So, chances are, the person deliberately wanted you to be confused but didn’t tell you the name explicitly because they didn’t want to. They might also tell you that they are layering two different fragrances. Unless they are telling you the name with a smile on their face, I’d say, respect their choice and not ask again. But consider that sometimes people genuinely don’t remember the whole name of the fragrance.
- Ask if they are wearing ___:
Use the name of a perfume, although you know that’s not the name of the perfume. But this can be a trick because then they will correct you with the correct name. Or they won’t; if they just say, ‘No. It’s not.’ I think that’s enough hint that they are choosing not to reveal what they are wearing because now they already know that you’re wondering about the perfume.
